This time he was sure he had seen a flicker, off to the right somewhere, just out of his visual range until it had already gone and was no longer there to see.  For three nights now this had been happening, at first he had thought it was just his imagination, after all it was dark, then maybe just an animal flitting past in the night, but now he was sure it was a person.

Heero was sure it was a person, and if they were after something off him then they may as well not waste their time.  What did he have that anyone could possibly want?  He didn’t own any money, had little possessions and couldn’t think of anybody who would want him for anything, and if they did want him surely they would have just come up to him by now.

Come to think of it, it sort of reminded him of Duo, or how Duo could be if he wanted anyway.  Not the Duo who had that cheeky smile that he flashed around everywhere, or the Duo who talked so much he could even talk Relena to silence, but the Duo who was the expert on stealth missions and who could sneak up on anyone – even Heero himself – if the mood took him.  Granted they hardly seemed like the same person, and Trowa was convinced that there had been two Duo’s, identical twins, who came out when the moment called for them.  Heero knew they were the same person; you couldn’t love two people at the same time, so they couldn’t be different people, because he loved both sides of Duo.  But this was just wishful thinking, this wasn’t Duo, it was probably just his imagination after all, but it did remind him of how much he missed Duo.

It had been three years now, three years since he had last seen Duo.  It was after the war had ended, after the soldiers were no longer needed and so they had no reason to stay together anymore.  He should have said something then, should have told Duo how much he wanted to stay with him, whether there was a need for it or not, but he hadn’t, he had let him walk away.

He was living with Trowa and Quatre now, at the circus.  Trowa hadn’t seemed to have any trouble telling Quatre how he felt, and they had moved in together immediately after the war.  Sometimes Heero still wondered if they had secretly been together all along, but neither would admit to it.  They had invited him to come and stay with them until he found his own place, and he had accepted.  Well, that was three years ago and he was still here.  He worked with the animals now, not in the performances, just in general after the shows and during the day.  He enjoyed the danger to it, needed it almost, he had never been safe before, never out of danger and now it was strange, too strange.

Of course he still saw Trowa, Quatre and Catherine, they lived here with him, not in the same trailer, but he saw them every day.  Relena sometimes came down to visit, flirt and go home again – and he still wasn’t interested – and Zechs came with her sometimes, as did Noin, who was now Zechs’ wife.  Wufei dropped in every now and then, as he was passing so he said.  There was only Duo they never saw.

Heero could still remember vividly the last moment he saw him.  He had said something nobody had paid any attention to, flashed a huge smile and then looked at Heero with those big amethyst eyes; his chestnut braid hanging over one shoulder, hair that mimicked its owner’s soul surely.  Then he had said that there was no need for him to stay around anymore and turned to go.  He had looked back one last time to wave and smile, had Heero known that was the last time he was ever going to see him he would have stopped him then, but he thought surely Duo would get bored on his own after a couple of days and come back to visit them, they had never seen him again.

Heero sat down on a log that had been left outside his trailer and sighed, three years and he still missed him.  He could still see him clearly in his minds-eye too.  Surely nobody could be that beautiful?  Surely he must have over exaggerated Duo’s image as time had gone by, didn’t matter anyway, he would be eighteen now, probably even cut his hair, he would look completely different.  Heero groaned at the thought of Duo cutting his hair.  He couldn’t even imagine it.

• * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

He was a lot taller, he had to admit that.  Last he had seen Heero he had been five foot three, he wasn’t that now, at least five foot eleven.  Only one inch taller than he himself had grown up to be.

He shifted his weight to the other foot a little and adjusted his view through the leaves, if he was going to sit out in the cold to spy on Heero he was at least going to get a good look.

What had made him come back?  Loneliness, boredom perhaps?  No he had come back in search of Heero, he had told himself he was coming to see Trowa and Quatre, he had only expected to find them here, but really he had hoped to see Heero.  Why was he hiding then?  He didn’t know, he had walked up the dark path towards the trailers with every intention of acting like a normal person and knocking on the door.  Then he had seen Heero and ducked into the bushes.  That was five nights ago and he was still doing it.  Heaven knew why, he just couldn’t bring himself to confront Heero after all these years, not knowing what he was like anymore, not knowing if he would even want to see him.

Come to think of it, why would Heero want to see him?  He found him annoying and distracting when he had to be with him, so now he had a choice he probably never wanted to see Duo again.

Duo watched him longingly.  He shifted his weight again and freed his long chestnut braid from an attacking branch.  It was longer still now, it touched the ground when he unbraided it and even though it had always done that, he had grown so it must be quite a lot longer.

What was he still doing here?  If he wasn’t going to say anything to Heero, and he wasn’t, then he may as well go, what was he going to do?  Spy on him for the rest of his life?  He took one last glance, the dark brown hair, the cobalt-blue eyes, eyes so strange for a Japanese boy that Duo hadn’t quite believed it when he had first met Heero, and the wiry but muscular frame.  All of that was now engraved on his memory, it would have to be, because he wasn’t coming back, he wouldn’t disturb the harmony they had found, not after all these years.

He braced himself to go, Heero hadn’t seen him, he knew that, he was too good at what he did for that, and now he never would.  Silently he stood, one last glance and this was his undoing, if he had gone then he wouldn’t have heard, wouldn’t have been there when Heero said it, but he couldn’t resist.

Just as he took one last look between the branches Heero leant forward a little, preparing to go inside his trailer, and as he did so he sighed a word, one word but the braided pilot’s undoing.  He sighed Duo.

Duo had never been able to stay quiet when Heero called him, and now was no exception, without even realising it he had answered, just a simple answer, “Yes?”

Heero spun, facing towards the bushes where he was stood, Duo thought about taking flight, just running and not looking back, but he wasn’t sure who was the faster out of the two now.  He had been, but what if Heero had gotten faster, he couldn’t take that chance.  He considered trying to hide, but Heero knew somebody was there and he wasn’t stupid enough for Duo to hide from him for any amount of time.

He wasn’t advancing, just standing staring in Duo’s direction and he wondered what to do now.  He would have to go out he decided, there was nothing more to do after all, or was he just telling himself that?  No matter, he was going to do it anyway.

He stepped from his green veil of leaves and branches in full view of Heero.  He wanted Heero to know he was there suddenly, wanted him to see him.

“Duo?” Heero asked, his voice betrayed nothing of what he was feeling, as always, and so Duo didn’t have a clue as to what he was making of all this.

“Yep, it’s me, how you been Heero?” not much but all he could think of at the time.

“What were you doing down there?” still direct and to the point, no time for idle chatter, same as always.

“I… I was, erm, I was… looking for something,” how exactly could he tell Heero he was sat there spying on him and had been for five nights now?

“Did you lose something down there?”

“No I erm…” he didn’t know what to say.

“It was you, wasn’t it?  I knew it, it had you written all over it Duo, and it was you.”

“Err, yeah it was me, gomen, you’re not gonna threaten to kill me are ya?” maybe he had only been there for five seconds but he had already managed to screw things up.

“Kill you?  Duo you should have come and seen me sooner, Quatre and Trowa have missed you you know,” so that was it Quatre and Trowa had missed him, ‘but not you’, Duo thought ‘no you’ve probably been glad to be rid of me.’

“Come on, you have got to come and see them, they will be annoyed if I keep you to myself,” Heero started to lead the way to a trailer parked right outside the circus tent, it was large and looked spacious, the door already stood open.

Without knocking, Heero went straight in, signalling for Duo to follow, “Guess who I found skulking around,” he announced as he went in.

“Duo?” Quatre sat on Trowa’s knee, neither of them wearing tops.  They both looked a little older, taller, although Quatre had nearly caught up to Trowa in height, but apart from that they looked exactly as he remembered them.

Quatre got up and went to Duo, wrapping him in a tight hug that was later repeated by Trowa, who then switched on the light and sat back down.  Quatre, however, seemed to think it necessary to walk in circles and glance at Duo every three seconds to make sure he hadn’t gone anywhere.

“Q-man, calm down, I’m not gonna disappear, as much as you may want me to,” this said with a glance towards Heero, who was ignoring him, “so you don’t have to be so jittery.”

“But it’s been so long,” Quatre placed himself on the edge of Trowa’s knee, looking as if he may jump back up at any second, “where have you been?”

“Around, nowhere interesting, I was just getting my fill of the world,” Duo couldn’t keep his eyes off Heero for too long, and so, was glad that the other pilot wasn’t watching him.

“Are you stopping here for the night?” Trowa asked ever practical.

“Do you mind?” Duo didn’t want to be a pain.

“Sure,” Heero answered, “you can stay in my bed, I’ll take the couch.”

“I couldn’t possibly, I’ll take the couch, it’s you’re bed, and anyway I’ve had worse, believe me,” Heero already sounded bored with him and he hadn’t been there five minutes.

“I know,” Heero reminded him, “we where there together most of the time, or did you forget?”

Duo turned large violet eyes towards Heero, did he actually think he had forgotten, or was this just a way of reminding Duo that they had shared the same past?  But they hadn’t, not really, not up until the time they had met anyway, Heero had had a much worse childhood than Duo himself, and that was something he didn’t like to dwell upon.

Heero turned to go, motioning for Duo to follow him.  He waved to Trowa and Quatre as he left and followed Heero’s retreating back.  Of course, it wasn’t his back he was watching; how exactly did Heero manage to walk straight in those things anyway?  Was he trying to make Duo go out of his mind?  But then again he had always worn the same type of clothes before, why should now be any different?

Heero’s trailer was more sparsely furnished than Trowa’s, Duo noticed.  He hadn’t really expected anything else; Heero was still Heero after all.  It was a nice place besides the lack of possessions, everything looked like new and the entire place was done in navy and a soft pastel blue.

“I’ll take the couch,” Heero informed Duo as he threw himself onto it, “you can have the bed.”

“Or we could share it,” Duo said cheekily, half wishing he could ask the question seriously, and flashing one of his wide grins.

“We could,” Heero seemed to muse this over, “but it would probably be more comfortable if we didn’t, it would save hassle.”

Duo nodded and dropped the subject, “So, have you been here since the war ended?”

“Yes, Trowa invited me to stop, and I just never left, but what about you?  We haven’t seen you since then; I would have at least thought you would have come to visit.”

“I’ve been around, I just didn’t want to be a burden,” that sounded lame, but it was the truth and he didn’t lie.

“A burden?” Heero got up and went to stand in front of Duo, he was taller than Duo now and the experience was a little daunting, Duo was used to Heero being the same size as him, “how could you think that?  After everything we all went through together did you really believe that we wouldn’t want to see you?  I missed…”

Duo looked up sharply, “Were you going to say you missed me?”

“Well…” Heero seemed reluctant to carry this conversation any farther but then he continued anyway, “I was going to say I missed our conversations.”

“Conversations?  What conversations?  We didn’t have any, you never used to talk to me, remember?”

“Maybe I didn’t, but I did listen to you talk, even if I seemed like I wasn’t, I always listened.  When we used to hide out in old abandoned warehouses and such before missions, and you used to talk about things that you wanted to do after the war was finished, do you remember?  Maybe I didn’t join in, but I listened, because even if I never said it, your voice used to comfort me and I knew you would talk regardless, so I didn’t say anything.”

“I remember,” Duo put his hand on Heero’s arm, “I talked because you didn’t and I couldn’t stand the silence, but after the war I thought you wouldn’t want me around anymore, I thought you would just forget about me like you seemed to forget about everything else.”

“How could I?” Heero looked Duo in the eyes, “your eyes are still that same dark violet, and your hairs grown to look as if it is still the same length even though it’s longer, you don’t look that different you know, I was worried you would have lost the innocent look, but you haven’t.”

Heero bushed his fingers lightly down Duo’s cheek and Duo turned his head into the touch, he had never thought Heero’s hands would be so soft, but they were, it was like being touched by silk.  Heero was watching for Duo’s reaction to this.  He hadn’t known if this was what Duo wanted but the way he had been looking at him since he had arrived had suggested it, and Heero couldn’t resist trying his theory.

When he saw Duo’s reaction to this, he slipped one hand to the back of his head, into that mass of silken fire and bent down slightly to touch his lips to Duo’s.  Duo trembled at the contact and linked his hands around the back of Heero’s waist.  Busy fingers soon managed to untuck Heero’s top from his pants and he slid his hands up the smooth muscle of Heero’s back.  Although Heero looked very lithe and thin he was very muscular under his top and Duo revelled in the feel of the smooth skin under his fingers.  Heero moaned and deepened the kiss, his lips pressing harder against Duo’s, their chests now touching.  Duo’s tongue flashed out, nudging at Heero’s lips, trying to gain access.

Heero sighed, opening his lips so that Duo’s tongue could enter his mouth.  As he began to explore the inside of Heero’s mouth, revelling in the feel of the soft, moist skin, he moved his hands to the base of Heero’s spine, using his fingers to massage and knead at the warm flesh.

Heero’s hips swayed forward until they were resting against Duo’s.  Duo could feel every time Heero jumped because of his ministrations and began to wonder if either of their legs would hold, given that he could feel Heero start to tremble against him.  As they broke for air, both gasping and red-faced he motioned towards the bed.

“Do you think we should go in there?” he asked.

“Good idea,” Heero answered, between gasps for air, “I don’t know whether my legs would hold.”

Duo lead the way towards the bed.  He wondered if Heero had realised what they were doing yet, but he must have, because Heero never did anything that he hadn’t first thought about, meaning he had thought about this before, which made Duo wonder how long he had felt like this for.

Upon reaching the bed Duo sprawled on his back amongst the sheets and closed his eyes.  He felt Heero lie down next to him, felt the bed move as he removed his top, and felt the unsure tug on his own top as Heero asked, silently, if he could remove it.

Duo lifted his arms to allow the top to slide over his head, and heard it join Heero’s on the floor.  He gasped sharply as he felt Heero’s fingers begin to trace meaningless patterns on his chest.  Strong hands stroked at his sides, and soft fingers ran gently over his abs and chest.  He could feel himself getting more aroused.

Rolling so that Heero was under him, and praying he wouldn’t mind, Duo opened his eyes and looked down into a pair of almost identical cobalt-blue eyes.  His fingers stroking Heero’s sides, he shimmied down the fey pilot a little way, until he could plant butterfly kisses on his chest.

He was now straddling Heero, and he could feel his hips bucking upwards with each new kiss that he planted.  Duo kissed his way softly up Heero’s chest to his neck and collarbone, which he started to lick suggestively with his tongue.  Heero’s hips leapt upwards into his own, making him moan at the contact, as Heero issued a series of gasps and shouts as he kissed him.

Heero’s hands came up to encircle Duo’s waist, his fingers digging into Duo’s back as his thumbs rubbed at his hipbones.  Duo’s breath was beginning to come in soft, sharp gasps now, as Heero rubbed at his hips in counterpoint to Duo’s kisses.  He began to trail kisses down Heero’s chest again, but this time didn’t stop there.  He came to Heero’s waistband, having forgotten that they hadn’t removed their pants, and stopped.  Heero’s hips nudged upwards to encourage him to carry on, so he pulled at them, trying to remove them.  He had little success, and was just about to ask Heero for help, when the other pilot reached up and removed the offending garment.

Duo went back to his kissing, first trailing kisses down Heero’s inner thigh, meant to tease and entice, then up to his hips and waistline.  Heero, by this point, was gasping for breath, his chest heaving, his fingers grasping at the sheets he lay on and pulling at them.  His head bobbed up briefly, but he couldn’t hold it there, and it sank back down into the pillows.

“Duo…please…” he couldn’t manage to be more coherent than that, but Duo knew what he meant.

He kissed Heero’s member once, and then took him in his mouth.  Heero gasped, his back arching against the bed, his hips bucking upwards so that Duo had to pull his head back a little so as not to choke.  He began to move his head, adding his hand to aid him, and pressing Heero back against the bed with his other.  He could feel Heero wriggle under him and watched the look of bliss come over his face.  This was what he had always wanted to do, show Heero ecstasy, and now he was.

Heero groaned loudly and Duo pulled back.  He wasn’t finished playing yet, he had a few more tricks up his sleeve.  He wriggled his way up between Heero’s legs and looked down into his face.  Heero hadn’t opened his eyes, he was lying panting and waiting to see what Duo would do next.

Duo reached down and took a hold of his knees.  He pulled them up towards him, so he was lying between his up drawn legs and looked back down at the brunette boy.

“Heero, do you trust me?” he asked as his fingers played in Heero’s hair.

Heero nodded and swallowed, his eyes still closed.  Duo settled himself between Heero’s legs more comfortably and slid inside him.  Heero gasped at the strange intrusion, but painful as it was, there was a certain pleasure in being filled by Duo.  He grabbed at Duo’s hips and let his hands rest there for a while, whilst Duo waited for him to adjust a little.

Duo didn’t know whether Heero wanted him to stop, he had stilled his hips, “Do you want me to stop?” he asked.

Heero shook his head, “No, I trust you,” he gasped.

Duo started to move, slowly at first, in sweeping motions.  Heero cried out as he felt Duo nudge at his prostate.  The rubbing was making a strange sensation inside him, he felt as if he was going to explode.  He dug his nails into Duo’s hips and pulled him faster, increasing the rhythm as both boys began to sob at the feelings being elicited.  There was no pain anymore, just pleasure, ecstasy would describe it better.

Heero cried out as he came, his world exploding in joy and pleasure.  He collapsed back into the sheets and heard Duo cry out as he released himself inside Heero.  A moment later he collapsed on top of the brunette, they both lay there panting.

Heero put his hand up into Duo’s hair and noticed that quite a lot of it had come loose from the confining braid.  He pulled the band from the bottom and let the heaviness of the hair unravel itself.  Falling free, the chestnut waterfall covered them both as they lay there fighting to regain their breath.

“Aishiteru,” Heero whispered as he gently stroked Duo’s hair.

“Aishiteru,” Duo said, “I didn’t think you felt like that Hee-chan.  How long?”

“Since… since I first saw you,” Heero answered, “but you went away, I thought I would never see you again.”

“I won’t go away again,” Duo promised, “unless you want me to?”

He felt Heero shake his head and snuggled against him, catching the edge of a blanket and pulling it round them both.  He stroked at Heero’s side and felt his eyelids begin to get heavy.  He should go and get cleaned up if they were going to fall asleep he thought, and voiced his opinion to Heero.

“Doesn’t matter,” Heero told him, “anyway, I can tell you something I want you to do for me Shi-chan.”

“What?” Duo asked curiously, “I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Oh… really?” he was sure he heard a slight laugh in Heero’s voice, “Well if that’s the case… make love to me Shinagami.”

“What… again?” Duo wondered if he was being serious or just joking around, he should have known better, he should have known Heero didn’t joke around.

“Yes again,” Heero purred as he lifted the blanket and covered both himself and Duo with it.

XX owari XX