Chapter 2

He snuck out the back way, the air out here sharp and clear after the smoke filled atmosphere of the bar.  The wind, although only slight, held a chill which was too sharp to be comforting and he wrapped his arms around his body to get at least some protection against it as he moved off away from Comet’s Tail.

He rounded the corner of the building next to the bar, an old abandoned building that nobody seemed to ever recall being occupied.  It wasn’t a big building, only just as big as Comet’s Tail.  It was made of red brick, although over the years it had faded to a dusty pink with the elements.  It had a flat roof that Duo had inherited as his alone spot as no one else ever went up there and it was one of his favourite places to be.  There was a hanging telephone wire connected to the roof of the building, this he always used to get up there, and that was just what he did now.  Taking hold of the wire he pulled himself to the top of the building and walked to the far edge.

There was nothing up there apart from himself and a few dead leaves, the ones that hadn’t yet been blown away by the winds which often picked up around this area in the winter.  He sat at the edge of the roof; his legs tucked under him and rested one elbow on his knee, putting his chin against his palm.  He wondered what he was doing here, not just on the roof, but on this colony.  It wasn’t that he didn’t like it here, he loved it, but he wasn’t going anywhere.  All his friends were on this colony yes, but there was nothing else for him.  Quatre had Trowa and visa versa, Heero had, well, no one really knew what Heero had, but he must have seen something in living with them all because he wouldn’t have stayed otherwise.  Duo didn’t even have a job.  Quatre had said none of them need worry about working; there was no need when he had more than enough money to sort them all but because of this he had nothing.  Relationships didn’t interest him, he had no need for a job, and all the skills he had acquired over the years meant nothing in a time of peace.  It was Heero everyone had thought would struggle in peace but he had landed on his feet, as he always did, it was Duo who now seemed to be lost.

He sighed and looked up at the sky, the stars glittered there like tiny diamonds caught in a huge black net.  They were the one thing that never seemed to change no matter what.  He felt comforted by them, he always had done.  If he could rely on nothing else he could rely on them always being up there.  It sounded insane but it comforted him.  Maybe he would go away for a while, like Heero sometimes did.  He had been known to be in the house when everyone went to bed and gone by the time everyone got up, sometimes for months, and then he would just appear again and never talk about where he had been.  No one ever questioned him; no one would get an answer if they did, and if Heero could do it, why not him?

A particularly sharp gust of wind blew across the rooftop and brought him out of his thoughts.  He was beginning to wish he had brought his jacket with him.  He had thought about it before coming out, but hadn’t expected to end up up here and so had not bothered.  He drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them shivering against the cold.  Something fluttered against the side of his face and he shot to his feet, whirling as he did so, with his hands held up defensively.

“You’re jumpy tonight,” it had been Heero’s jacket, hung from one of his fingers that had touched the side of his face, “you looked cold.”

“I am, thank you,” he made to take the jacket then thought better of it, “it’s my own fault and you’ll be cold then, you keep it.”

“I don’t feel it, and you look like you need it more than me,” he dropped the jacket across Duo’s still extended arm.

He put it on gladly and sat back down snuggling into it’s warm.  Heero must have just been wearing it; the material was still slightly warm and smelt strongly of him.  This, for some reason, seemed to comfort Duo and nothing seemed so bad suddenly.  Heero came to sit next to him, within touching distance but with enough of a gap that they weren’t in contact with each other.

“Why are you up here?” the question was unobtrusive and Duo could have just as easily not answered.  Heero’s questions were always like this; perhaps because he himself was loath to answer any and he respected that other people may not want to, but Duo answered anyway.

“I needed to clear my head, it was getting too stuffy in there and anyway, I had things to think about.”

“It was only so heated because you had two girls crawling on you,” it wasn’t an accusation or even a scoff, just an observation, but Duo became defensive anyway.

“That wasn’t my fault, it’s not as if I invited them or anything, besides it happens a lot in there, you just get used it after a time,” he buried his nose inside the collar of the jacket and was suddenly calmed again by the scent he found there, “sorry, I didn’t mean to yell, I’m just a little messed up at the moment,” he hadn’t meant to say that, but now the damage was done and he closed his eyes against the response that would evoke.

“Oh?” Heero sounded genuinely interested, something that didn’t happen often, “anything you want to talk about?”

“I just… I don’t know… why am I here Heero?” he looked round at his quiet companion and realised Heero had been looking at him intently for a number of minutes and he hadn’t been aware of the scrutiny.

“Because you wanted to clear your head?” he hadn’t quite caught the meaning of the question.

“No, not here, here, why am I on this colony?  Why am I living in Quatre’s mansion?  Why do I come to this bar night after night when I’m not achieving anything by it?  I don’t have any reason to stay here, I don’t have a job or a girlfriend or even a pet.  Sure I have you guys but you all fit together so well and I don’t fit in anywhere.  Quatre has Trowa, Trowa has Quatre, you’re only around when it suits you to live here and I’m here because I have nowhere else to go and nothing to do with my life, and that’s not a good feeling…” he trailed off, his train of thought coming to an end as he realised Heero probably didn’t want to hear all this.  He had enough problems trying to shut Duo up when they were at home; he didn’t need him incessantly talking whilst they were here too.

“That’s alright, you don’t need a reason to stay here, do you?  You can be here just because you want to,” Heero curled his legs up against his chest as Duo had done before and gave the faintest shiver, probably hoping Duo wouldn’t see, but he couldn’t ignore it.

“See, I told you that you would be cold,” he smiled softly and began to shrug off the coat, “come here.”

“You need it more than I do, I told you, and I won’t put it back on,” Heero wrapped his arms more tightly round his legs and Duo knew he couldn’t move them if Heero didn’t want him to.

“I know a way we can both not be cold,” he held up the jacket and gave silent thanks for the considerably large size of it, “now come over here.”

Heero looked at him warily as if he was trying to figure out if Duo was up to something, but eventually he gave in and moved over towards the other boy.  Duo was the one that closed the gap, pressing himself into Heero’s left side and wrapping the coat around both of their shoulders.  The size of the thing was ridiculous given its owner; it met at the front of the two of them and kept out the wind.

“Why do you have such a ridiculously large jacket?” Duo had to ask the question.

“It was the one I used to take with me to use as a quilt when we were on missions, I just never got rid of it,” Duo did recall seeing Heero asleep under a jacket nearly twice the size of him once, he also recalled how he had wanted to bend and comfort the other boy on that night but had never had the guts, “you sat up and watched me all night that night didn’t you?”

“How did you…?  You looked lonely, I felt lonely, the wind was too loud for me to sleep anyway, I wasn’t guarding you or anything,” in a sense that wasn’t exactly true, he couldn’t have slept but he had been watching over Heero, or watching him anyway, there hadn’t actually been anything to guard him against but his own memories and he couldn’t fight those.

“And you still are,” Heero shifted slightly causing the front of the jacket to crack open and Duo shivered again against the cold air.

“I suppose I am,” he contemplated this new theory, “I can be in a room filled with people and be the centre of attention and still feel completely alone, I suppose you’re right,” he shivered again and pulled the jacket closed at the front.  Heero shifted again and he felt the brunette boy’s arm slip round his waist and pull them closer together.  Duo was glad of the dark as a blush tinged his cheeks, he wasn’t being very resilient, and in front of Heero, “I never could stand the cold.”

Heero on the other hand didn’t seem effected in the slightest now, in fact, he seemed to be radiating heat.  Duo could feel the heat from Heero’s shoulder warming his own cheek.  Almost without him even realising it, his head tilted to the side and he rested his head against the warmth of Heero’s shoulder.  He was expecting to be told to move, but Heero didn’t even turn his way, just ignored him completely.  Then his right hand found the fingers of his left and weaved together, pulling Duo against him further.  Duo copied him, telling himself it was for lack of anywhere else to put his arms, and settled down, warm and comfortable.

He felt Heero play with the end of his braid, felt him stroking the loose strands the other side of the tie.  His eyelids drooped and he allowed them to close, the sensation was nice and he couldn’t have felt more contented.

He must have dosed off, for he was woken by a scratching feeling against his forehead.  He opened his eyes groggily but knew immediately where he was – that came with too many years of fearing for his life whilst he slept – and realised that the scratching had been from Heero’s cheek where it had been laid against his brow, an early morning shadow of stubble already having grown there.  Heero had lifted his head and was looking around at the streets below.

“Everyone’s going home,” he sounded annoyed by the disturbance, “we should go before Quatre gets home or he’ll worry himself sick.”

“And Trowa.”

“Trowa won’t care, he knows we’re quite capable of looking after ourselves.”

“Good point.”

This said both boys settled back down, neither wanting to be the first one to make a move, “You fell asleep,” Duo only half registered the question and mumbled his answer.

“Mmm,” he wasn’t in the mood for talking, in fact he could have gone right back to sleep.

“Funny,” Heero mused, “the one time I come up to listen to what you have to say and it’s the quietest I’ve ever heard you.  Do you know the meaning of irony?”

“Yes,” Duo was only half thinking about what he was saying, “I do read poetry, and anyway, this whole situation is ironic.”

“You read poetry?” Duo had thought that might get a response.

“Yeah, Solo introduced me to it, there’s always an anthology somewhere in Deathsyth’s cockpit if you care to look for it,” he chuckled, “didn’t think I was the poetic type?”

“Didn’t think you were the reading type,” he shifted, making ready to move at last, “and how is this whole situation ironic?”

Had he really said that?  He hadn’t meant to voice that opinion, now how was he going to get out of this one without lying?  That was just supposed to be a thought, he shouldn’t have gotten so comfortable, well, he was awake now, but perhaps too late.

“Well it just is,” he wondered if Heero would let the comment slide, but for a change he wanted to pursue it, blast him.

“No, you must have had a good idea of why you made such a comment like that, now tell me, what did you mean by it,” he glanced around him, “I see nothing ironic in this.”

“It’s just…” he took a big gulp of air, wondering how to phrase this so it wouldn’t sound too bad, he was going to have to say it now anyway, he’d put his foot in it again, “it’s just that, last time I saw that coat it had made me want to hug you because it made you look so small, and now when I see it again I get what I wished for then, well sort of,” he faltered to a stop, his cheeks flaming, making him, once again, thankful for the dark.

Heero tilted his head to one side and stood up, leaving the jacket around Duo’s shoulders.  Duo flinched, wishing that his hair was unbraided for once so he could use it to hide behind.  He’d done it now, he wondered if Heero was going to punch him.

“So why didn’t you?”

“I’m sorry I just… it’s what I… what?” Duo had started to talk almost before Heero finished and had taken a few seconds to grasp what had been said, “I…I don’t know.  I thought you wouldn’t have let me, and knowing can be worse than just hoping.”

Heero stepped towards him and Duo almost panicked, his violet eyes becoming huge as he cowered back into the jacket.  Heero smiled and Duo stopped, astonished, he couldn’t recall ever seeing Heero smile before, not even after he laughed, which had never sounded genuine anyway.  He watched Heero cautiously but stood his ground, allowing him to approach.  He was unprepared for what actually happened.